Not Giving In

I cannot believe that it is a new year already. Welcome 2015! Right?

There is a lot to be said about ending a year on a positive note, and, frankly, often it is healing. Something happened yesterday that was the culmination of the painful lessons I learned in 2014. That is what I want to talk to my readers about today.

One of the most painful lessons I learned last year was abandonment and all of the stuff I had buried within. That included memories of growing up that filtered into my personal life in a very big way. Without going into the details, suffice it to say that fear of being abandoned and pushed away by someone I loved was a great teacher. 

Not only did my fears result in causing pain in someone I loved and causing a pulling away, but also bringing up long buried memories. These fears found their voices in my poetry, and as such, found their voices shared on Twitter through poetry prompts and stories. 

What was so wonderful about the lessons were the gains – not the losses. I was published last year for the first time in e-Innovate Magazine’s November issue and featured by @timitude on his #CreativeMondays website. 

Tim, founder of Creative Mondays even voted me in his “25 Timspirational People for2014!” I am very grateful and value and treasure this lesson the most.

So, now, to get to last night’s drama! Part of the buried memories that made their way to the light are traumatic abuse memories from my childhood. As a final purge, I decided to put a little of that pain into a poem. This poem was painful to write, but because so many of my readers and fans have experienced the same, I pushed through the pain and wrote it anyway. 

I have shared with the #CreativeMondays family that my erotic writing is not always about the sex, but about providing healing for things that have affected myself and my readers on very deep levels. Keeping that in mind, I anxiously posted the poem on my blog, The Wylde Syde, and shared the link on my Twitter account.

What occurred afterward shook me to the core and caused me to relive many of the memories about which I was intending to purge. I received several Direct Messages attacking not only my poem, but my intentions behind sharing it. I was called names and accused of just wanting attention, but the worst accusations were these three:

“You are a disgusting cunt that probably deserved whatever your father did to you!”

“What a fucking slut you are! You will burn in hell!”

 But the worst accusation and attacks said this: “You WHORE! If I were your father, I would have raped you over and over until you lie bleeding on the floor. In fact, SLUT! Someone should do that to you now!” 

I did not save screenshots of these, but I remember their words because I could not stop reading them. I simply could not believe that anyone would write such vicious words to someone who obviously suffered extreme abuse and incest from her father. 

I did have the insight to report these jerks, but blocked them right away. I wish I had remembered to take screenshots for the police, but I reacted and deleted them. 

I did contact a friend who is a police chief in a nearby town, and with his help, have contacted Twitter. It seems that they can access their database to find them anyway, so I will pursue it from there. So, if these guys are reading this blog post now, I have a message for you!

You left your footprint in Twitter records, and you will be found! The jerk that wrote the third message will be pursued for cyber bullying and as a threat. You will be found!

Now, with that all being said, I removed the link to the post last night and took a step back. My first instinct was to leave Twitter altogether and never write the way I write any longer. But many of my friends and followers stood up for me even without knowing the full language or what was written. They encouraged me to keep going.

After a night of tears and hurt turning to anger and resolve, I refuse to let these guys take away my dream of sharing myself with people. I refuse to let just a few put me back into a cowering position out of which I have fought so hard to climb. I write this blog this evening and share the link to the poem as an InYourFace, KissMyAss, TakeThat attitude. 

For my friends and fans, I say:

DO NOT let bullies have their way! Be strong and fight back! That’s what I’m doing!

I Am Published!

You could say I am a new author and poet, but truth be told, I have been writing since I was a little girl. I had the most amazing inner world and wrote about it, painted it about, and wrote poetry about it incessantly. It was my escape from a world in which monsters and demons – very real ones in the shape of my parents – reigned supreme. 

I grew up in Texas and during some of the worst times, lived in a medium sized town in the panhandle – a town called Lubbock. A lot of people have heard of Lubbock, Texas, and I am still partial to Texas Tech University and the Red Raiders. Frankly, that is only one of the few bright spots there.

The other? Our little green house with the corner surrounded by huge – at least to me – cedar trees. Oh, and the giant weeping willow tree in the front yard – both a safe haven and a harbinger of pain, but it wasn’t the tree’s fault. Let me get back to my little corner and my cedar trees. 

The cedar trees made a most beautiful cave where I spent hours healing, talking to the fairies that resided there, and writing and drawing. This cave was where I met the most beautiful mystical beings, and where my Mother Goddess healed me from the pain of my earthly existence. She nurtured me when I needed love, and she provided me with so much love that I was able to survive whatever the monster and demon, my mother and father, dished out.

But most of all, she and my fairy friends gave me permission to live and write and paint about the horrors that existed. That is where I found my muse that would last me a lifetime and get me through whatever life threw at me. It is also where I learned who and what I was.

And so, I’m not a newcomer to writing, but I am a newcomer to letting the world see my soul. Each word and stroke of the brush is a piece of my soul that I have decided to share with you, my readers. I started sharing in my blogs – both here and in my other persona’s blogs, and on Twitter. It was through Twitter that I have met some amazing poets and friends. And it was through one man, in particular, who goes by the user name @TorturdCyclone, that I found encouragement to share my soul.

And now, I have had my first poem published! I am so proud of myself for taking the chance in opening myself to this possibility. This was, perhaps, one of the most difficult challenges I have found so far. But, it is official! I am a published poetess! 

I hope my readers go to the links I am providing in this blog post and purchase the 7th edition of Innovate e-Magazine. The editor, Grey Wolf, was kind enough to invite me to submit a poem and include me in this edition. To him, I am so grateful. This has given me the validation I so needed as an artist and writer, and I will support him completely! So, go! Buy! Spread the word! And read me!

Soon, I will have my first poetry compilation ready for publishing and my first erotica romance novel ready for publishing. My website is in the works, and my series of erotic abstracts is in the first stages. I am opening my soul to you, my readers, raw and pure! I trust you will find pieces of you there, and will find your own healing place.

To purchase Innovate e-Magazine, 7^th edition both in print and e-book, go to these links:

Amazon.com print edition
Amazon.co.uk print edition

Amazon.com kindle edition
Amazon.co.uk kindle edition
Amazon India kindle edition  

Barnes & Noble epub edition
Kobo epub edition
Inktera epub edition

Scribd epub edition

Book Review - Beyond the Pale Motel

As my readers know, I love promoting other authors and their new releases. That being said, I am very careful when I review a book on my blog and do not offer my promotions lightly. In other words, I do not promote without discretion. If I don’t like a book, I will not review it – period. I am so pleased to tell you all about an author and her new book that is released today.

Introducing Francesca Lia Block, and her new book Beyond the Pale Motel! 

I have to say that you must purchase this book. You are in for a ride of your life! From the opening paragraph, the prologue, interest is piqued. As a reader, I had to go further. From there, the characters, Catt and Bree, come to life and the back story provides the perfect conflict.  

The erotic scenes are just that – erotic, evocative, and captivating. They are not the old, tired scenes that appear in all erotica. The side story that provides the impetus and catalyst for the conflict gives the reader a seat gripping, heart stopping journey. As a reader, not only did I want to close my eyes until it was over, but I was compelled to I read on.

I have to say here that, as an author and writer myself, I often find myself reading a book in editor mode wondering how I would have written the scene. But Francesca completely took me out of editing and into reading. Really? That’s a hard thing to do for me. I have not read her other book, but believe me, I will most definitely do that now!

Francesca, well done! Your characters are written in a way that it is easy, as a reader, to feel for them and to understand their motivation. I want to read it again! 

For my readers, I will not give away any of the story. You have to buy it for yourself. Beyond the Pale Motel is available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon in hardcover or e-book. Go! Buy! Read!

This one is going on my preferred list to be sure!

The Camellia

My name,  Camille, is taken from one of my favorite flowers, the Camellia. The Camellia is a very special and magical flower with powerful properties.
A gift of a Camellia should never be taken lightly because it could reverse the intent of the gift. So with that, let me tell you a little about the Camellia's gift.

The Camellia brings riches and luxury.
It's name means adoration, perfection.
The gift of the Camellia brings with it
The thought of adoration and love and
The wish of prosperity and riches
To the receiver.
If you are blessed with the gift of a Camellia, it is an honor of perfect love and is considered a sacred gift for the wish of prosperity and riches is a true treasure. If treated lightly or without honor, the reverse becomes its gift.

Know that if I gift a Camellia, I think very highly of you and wish you the best in life.
Starting on Saturday, I will be giving a Camellia to one of my friends and followers on my Twitter account,  my Facebook account, and my Instagram account.

To follow me on Facebook,  go to
https://m.facebook.com/camille.wylde

Instagram: @camreneeharper

And Twitter : @CamWylde

I can't wait to get started!