Challenges? Meet Them With Love

This week has been a week full of challenges, and not all of them were fun.

The most amazing challenge was the VOE Poetry Challenge, called Missing Piece. The poetry shared has been so beautiful and full of heartfelt emotion. They all spoke to me in such deep spaces and getting to know the poets from that part of which they shared has been good for my own soul.

I must have read and re-read each poem hundreds of times and so wanted to comment on each and every one of them, but I had to read in brief passing moments. This gets to the other challenges of the week.

I work part time as a therapist/practitioner at a center for adults with special needs. Many are low to mid-level functioning experiencing autism, Down’s syndrome, have experienced some kind of brain trauma in their lives leaving them with emotional and mental challenges that they work with each and every day. What I and the other therapist do to help is offer massage, energy work, yoga, meditation, acupressure, reflexology, and sometimes, just a hand to hold. The work is challenging and difficult, but always fulfilling. 

One group we service is an elderly group. Most are low functioning and have been institutionalized for the greater part of their lives. They are just now getting to be integrated into group homes and experience being with loving and caring humans for the first time in their lives. Most in this group are past their 70s and have physical illnesses as well. I admit that I do get attached and have to really work at not getting overly attached. 

Two of my dearest, sweetest elders passed this week, and one is in hospice. It was hard knowing that I won’t see them again, and remembered how much they meant to me. I play the Native American flute, and one always requested I play. When I did, he would smile – something he very rarely did. He also had built trust in me through the flute to allow me to hold his hand. And he would hold my hand and kiss it each time after I played. He was meant to be at our group this week, and wasn’t. I took my flute expecting to see him, but he passed in his sleep overnight. He was 97 years old, and I loved him so.

The other challenge? My colleague, the other therapist, had to leave unexpectedly. Her father was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in November. He was in remission, but passed suddenly on Tuesday. So, I took over for her on her days while they got a substitute to help. Remembering losing my own parents, losing my special elder 97-year old friend, and knowing what my colleague was experiencing threw me for a loop. 

This morning, I finally had the opportunity to re-read the poems in the VOE Poetry Challenge and experience the emotions shared. Finally, I could listen to the podcast. Finally, I could let each poet know how much their words touched me. 

I am reminded of something Amanda, VOE Editor-in-Chief, said. You never know what others are going through. I smile through it all because I know that someone else is experiencing far worse than I am. I don’t negate my own feelings and emotions, but know that love and understanding go a long way to healing ourselves and others.

So, today, I ask my readers to take the time to tell those you care about that you love them and thank them for being a part of your life. I thank each of my fans, followers, and readers here, on Twitter, on Facebook, on VOElla, and in life! Thank you for being a part of my life!

Message to My Inner 10 Year Old Little Girls

I just couldn’t figure out why the VOElla Poetry Challenge became so important to me. I hate contests, but this poetry contest became a symbol for me. 

When I was a young girl, I was considered a child prodigy in piano. I was put in the National Piano Guild Contest against college students, and was ranked in the top 2% at 10. From there, I was offered a scholarship to the University music program and a chance to go to Juilliard. My parents both said no and lectured me about how I was not good enough and would never be good enough and to get used to being let down. So, I believed them – they were my parents, after all.

This poetry contest became the National Piano Guild all over again. It became my chance to tell that little 10 year old girl, once and for all, that she was good enough then and she still is good enough. 

I sit here writing this, not knowing the results yet. I do not know which way it will go tonight. What I do know is that I did the very best I could do, and regardless, Dammit! I am good enough, and so is that 10 year old girl.

So, winning is not about what everyone else sees. Winning this is about loving that 10 year old that was hurt so bad back then, and telling her she is more than good enough.